by: Rev. Dr. Anna Hall
When church feels hard — Stop, look, and listen.
We live in a world full of anxiety and polarization. When church feels less like a refuge from that and more like a mirror of it, or even a magnifier, it hurts.
What, then, are we called to do as Christians in congregations that are struggling with anxiety, conflict, decline? How can we nurture ourselves spiritually while also loving our neighbors down the pew? (Especially when some of us haven’t been on our best behavior.)
I remember from my childhood the advice when crossing any road or train tracks. I was taught to stop, look, and listen. This has served me well as a pedestrian, a driver, and in any potentially dangerous situations. It saved me from a rattlesnake on a trail in Colorado. It has helped me avoid many wrecks in Atlanta traffic.
More than that, it has helped me catch my breath when rocked by life’s grief and pain. It has shown me the beauty of our world many times, even on my crowded little block in metro Atlanta. Just today I saw a little bird drinking from our birdbath after a thunderstorm and a tiny chipmunk racing along the gravel driveway on some errand or another.
What does this look like in our church lives?
STOP: When things get hard, step back from reacting. Take a breath, or a break, from the challenging situation. Even if there is only time for a single breath, it will help. Most church problems are not life and death, so you probably have time for stepping away for a few days, even, to attend to self-care and centering as needed.
LOOK: As you reenter church activities and relationships, be an observer before anything else. See who is helping. See who is adding kindness and light. See the reflection of the stained glass on the carpet and the flowers among the courtyard weeds. Give thanks to God for everything you see.
LISTEN: Listen more than you talk. Listen for wise words and kind ones. Listen for moments of peaceful quiet. Listen for new insights. Be curious. Ask people to tell their stories. Ask them why they believe what they do. Listen for God’s still small voice speaking to you from without and within. Most of all, listen for the promise that with God’s help, we can lay down our anxiety and lean into trust.
There may be actions you feel called to take once you have done all this, or you may need still more time to feel steady again in congregational life. In my experience, the wisest church members and the most helpful volunteers are those who pay attention to their inner work first, before taking on any new tasks. May it be so for you.
I am reminded of a stanza from one of my favorite church songs from childhood:
I’ve got the peace that passes understanding down in my heart.
Where?
Down in my heart to stay.
It may not make sense, it may not be logical in these troubled times, and it may be outside of our rational understanding, but I believe that God can give us peace. Even now. Even today.
