by: Rev. Dr. Anna Hall
What a season we are in! Images on billboards and television show families gathered happily around beautiful tables and Christmas trees. Homes, towns, and workplaces are decorated lavishly and opportunities for holiday fun abound. Congregations are busy with additional worship services, parties, and children’s plays.
At the same time, headlines report families torn apart by cruel immigration policies. So many people can’t afford food and other basic expenses. War, mass shootings, and state-sponsored violence interrupt any sense of peace. On the personal front, many of us are dealing with family situations that are hard and complex. Work life may feel less secure due to the economy and other forces. Our congregation may be struggling even as we work to check all the boxes of Advents and Christmases past.
In my own life, these forces make me feel less full of festivity this year. How do we hold all of this without breaking apart?
One important step is separating consumer Christmas from our personal and collective spiritual journeys. Consumer Christmas says to buy things to be happy and make others happy. The story of Jesus shows how amazing things can come from the most humble situations. Consumer Christmas says our holidays should look like crowds of people celebrating joyfully together. The story of Jesus is about a small group, gathered unexpectedly, honoring the miracle of birth while living in the midst of oppressive governments. Consumer Christmas says we should be smiling and laughing all season long. Our spiritual story says that things get dark sometimes, and yet “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”
A second step might be acknowledging our feelings about the season. We can spend time with understanding friends, family, and/or our journals talking about the tension and sadness and anger we are experiencing. We can express our feelings through art, song, crying out in lament – whatever works for us. We can spend the time we need with the complexity of our emotions, not rushing past them, pushing them down, or becoming tempted by toxic positivity.
A third step can be asking ourselves what we really need this season. You may need to skip all the festivities and be in ordinary time instead. You may need more church services or none at all. You may need to honor yourself by spending more time on what you need and less on the needs of others, just for a little while.
Whether you need any or all of these things during the holiday season, just know that you are a beloved child of God. You are allowed to have needs and take up space. You have permission to skip the “shoulds” of the holiday season and just do what you can handle. Never forget, this season is not only associated with joy, but also with quiet, comfort, and turning inward. I know that it will be a quiet inward holiday for me this year and that’s ok.
How are you or your congregation adjusting your holiday season to acknowledge complex and mixed emotions this year? We’d love to hear from you. Reach out at anna@convergenceus.org to talk about how we can help you and your congregation through coaching, consulting, and so much more.